This Is the Way the World Ends
by PlasmaBall
Summary: Payson discovers a new gymnastics skill that opens up a whole new way of thinking about the sport. She and Sasha work intensely together, pushing each other to their limits and seeing the best they have to offer... not just to the sport, but each other.
1. March, 2011

Author's notes: Good evening everybody, and welcome to my first ever _Make It or Break It_ fanfiction! I've thoroughly enjoyed reading them and thought that, hey, I might give writing one a shot. My other stories for other worlds are a bit crap so... don't judge the quality of this one from them (I was young and foolish back then).

Synopsis: Isn't entirely clear how the story will finish (as in, I haven't finished planning my storyline) but the premise is that Payson and Sasha start working on a new move together. The more time they spend together, the closer they grow, but not without their fair share of trials and tribulations! Please give it a go, it's pretty straightforward at the moment but isn't that how most stories start out? It would be a little strange if, say, I wrote something ludicrous, like instead of at the end of the chapter, Payson stays with Sasha and they get it on on the pommel horse, someone of course would catch them, and of course there'd be a pregnancy scare and then they get married a few days after the fact... and mah grammaz and speeling wuld be liek dis. But it won't be, I promise!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or anything like that, nor am I making a monetary profit (that I'm aware of) from this work, plus I think if there were issues with fanfiction breaking copyright, we would know about it by now, right?

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><p>"When was the last time he looked at your routine?" Kaylie whispered, frowning.<p>

"It was over a week ago! And I know for a fact he's been scheduling time after hours with her." Payson whispered back. They glanced over at Sasha and Lauren furtively. "And she got here two minutes after me this morning!" Kaylie's eyebrows shot up with surprise. Lauren was rarely even awake by the time Payson started training in the morning.

"So what do you think's going on?" Kaylie asked. "I mean, he worked with me this morning but that was the first time in three days."

Payson shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know. I bet he doesn't even know what my new floor music is."

"Ladies," Sasha yelled from the beam, "this isn't the mall. This is my gym, so get back to work!" Lauren smirked from where she was standing on the beam, secure in her new place as 'favourite'. It took Payson a second the process what had happened. The last time he'd used that tone with her was the Sunday after the infamous kegger (_"Oh, how noble."_ He'd sneered, words dripping in sarcasm). Kaylie shrugged before moving to the uneven bars. Payson remained at the water cooler for a minute before going to the vault. Today she was trying to recreate a fluke move she'd discovered yesterday. She was aiming to increase her degree of difficulty by introducing a Tsukahara before she hit the vault table when she'd miscalculated the speed and strength required for the move ("_Wouldn't have happened with a coach_." Payson thought bitterly) and flipped higher than intended, rotating vertically as well as horizontally before flipping off the vault table, continuing her vertical-horizontal motion and somehow landing blindly, and somewhat dazed, on her feet. While she was flipping in her air, she felt like she was flying, as if she weighed nothing at all. Payson stood at the beginning of the mat, eyeing off the vault table. _"Here goes nothing."_ She thought, and ran full-speed at the vault.

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><p>"That's good, Lauren. It's really coming along." Sasha commented as Lauren <em>almost<em> pulled off what she called "the Tanner". They'd spent painstaking hours working on it, clarifying the design, working on specific muscle groupings and conditioning. Sasha had never coached a girl trying to come up with her own move before, and it took far more time and effort than either of them had anticipated. He believed in her enough to try it, but he still wasn't entirely convinced she could pull it off in serious competition.

"Thanks, Sasha." Lauren said. If she could land this move, she would dominate the world with her beam routine and go down in gymnastics history.

Sasha glanced at his watch. "Alright, you move onto uneven bars and send Kaylie over here."

"Um," Lauren began, "don't you think maybe you should see how Payson's going?" She asked. Sure, she could be (would be) selfish, but it didn't mean she was blind. She could see as well as anyone how much time she was taking with him. Sasha looked over to where Payson had just landed on her hands and knees, slapping the ground with her hand in frustration. He jogged over to the vault and extended a hand to Payson. She sighed and let him help her up. He gave her a quick once-over with his eyes, checking for damage and noted how red her knees and hands looked.

"How's it going, Payson?" He asked, releasing her hands.

"All right. I'm trying to get this new move but it isn't quite clicking." She told him, business-like as ever. It took a lot of effort not to pout like a child and point out these were the first words they'd exchanged in days.

"Well what is it?" He enquired.

"Okay, so I push off and flip like I'm going for a Tsukahara but with added height so instead of the flipping onto the vault, I sort of… arc onto it. Do you know what that's called?"

Sasha looked at her with a spark in his eye. "From the way you described it, I think it's called a Keeler."

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><p>"All right ladies, it's five o'clock. Time to go home!" Sasha called. Kaylie jumped off the beam, landing catlike on her feet.<p>

"Hey Pay, you need a ride?" She called, remembering having seen Mrs Keeler leave with Becca earlier.

"No, thanks, I'm good." Payson replied, walking over to Kaylie. "I was going to keep training late tonight and Mom's coming back in a few minutes."

"Okay then. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bright and early." Payson teased playfully.

Kayley groaned. "Ugh, don't remind me." She picked up her gym bag and walked toward the doors.

"See ya!" Payson called after her. She smiled and turned around to see Sasha talking quietly to Lauren, making gestures with his hands. Lauren smiled and looked up at him, lightly touching his bicep with his hand. She said something softly in reply to him before sliding her hand down and away as she picked up her gym bag and walked towards the door.

"See you tomorrow, Payson." Lauren smiled in an oddly satisfied fashion as she passed her.

"Yeah, bye." Payson returned, frowning. She turned towards Sasha, who was facing her, using his clipboard like a shield.

"Staying late tonight?" He asked, although he already knew the answer.

She nodded. "Let's get started."

* * *

><p>"Come on, Payson! Faster, faster, faster, faster, faster!" Sasha yelled as Payson tore down the run way. They had moved into the annex, where the foam pit used for training the most risky moves was located. She exploded off the training trampoline (the most springy they had) and flew through the air in a graceful arc before pushing off the vault table and flipping. She fell into the pit feet-first, telling both coach and gymnast that she would have landed it had they been on a mat. There was silence for a second before Sasha spoke.<p>

"Payson... I've never seen anything like that before." He almost whispered, enthralled. "Never..." He jogged over and held a hand out to help her out of the foam pit. She grasped his hand and let him pull her up. She climbed out of the pit, standing so close to Sasha that their chests brushed as they breathed.

"So," Payson began, "do you think we can get this before the Olympics?" Sasha smiled, recognising the fire in her eyes.

"Payson, if I've learned anything it's that with you, anything is possible." He replied, grinning. She jumped onto him, wrapping her arms around neck as he lifted her up and they laughed.

"Now go home before your mum tries to kill me." Sasha told her as he released her. Still grinning, Payson turned and started towards the doors.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sasha."

"Bright and early?" He asked in a playful, albeit mocking tone. She rolled her eyes and shook her head in amusement as she left Sasha standing alone with his thoughts. _"It's a power move, that's certain. We'll have to work on building her strength back. She got it once today, but for consistency she needs the strength to be certain. She looked so graceful_," He thought with an affectionate smile, _"like she was flying."_ And with that thought, he left the annex with visions of Payson arcing through the air playing on a loop in his head.

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><p>Author's notes: So let me know what you think but be warned! The next 8 weeks are crazily important and busy for me (last term of high school and university applications and stuff) so updates with go down one of two ways. One - I'll procrastinate really badly on school so they'll be frequent and big or two - I'll get over procrastinating and they'll take awhile. I just wanted to be honest up front, 'cause that's the way it's gonna be. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading.<p> 


	2. March, 2011 Part Two

Author's notes: Morning, everyone. Well I was certainly pleasantly surprised with the feedback, number of alerts and hits that my first chapter got. But more than that, I think we can all take a moment to appreciate how well-loved the Payson/Sasha shipping it. It occurred to me also that I should clarify I'm Australian and thus use British English so should anyone be confused about spelling... now you know. Also, points to anyone who picks up on the _Macbeth_ parallel.

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><p>Payson and Kaylie stood together, observing Lauren and Sasha for the second time in as many days. This time they were standing by the uneven bars while they were meant to be swapping apparatuses in their rotation. Something had just clicked for Lauren and today she was landing the Tanner more consistently than she ever had before. The smile on her face was gleeful and smug, with just a hint of flirtation.<p>

"What do you think it is?" Payson asked.

"Gee, I don't know. It might be that Emily's pregnant and Lauren has one less competitor to worry about, or it could be that we got yelled at yesterday, or it could be that she thinks she's the favourite," Kayley suggested sarcastically, "or maybe it's that she's gonna have a move named after her in the next code of points."

"True," Payson admitted, because, well, any of the things on Kaylie's list could make Lauren smile like that, "but I think… I mean, it probably isn't right, but it kind of looks like…" Payson trailed off, unable to finish the thought. It was fortunate (or perhaps, unfortunate) that at that moment Sasha turned away from Lauren as she looked down at him from the beam, eyes sliding over his body. Kaylie gasped, held her mouth in a perfect "O" for a moment before verbalising the thought.

"She likes him!" Kaylie whispered. Payson frowned, her own thoughts confirmed.

"I hope not," She began, "you know how Lo can be; she won't stop 'til she gets what she wants."

Kaylie tilted her head, considering their friend.

"I don't know, Pay, I think it'll pass. But hey," She tapped her companion on the arm, "it might be my turn next."

"Hey!" Payson cried out, indignant at her friend's mocking, but Kaylie had already jogged over to the vault with a cheeky smile. Payson looked back towards the beam, where Lauren successfully completed "the Tanner" for the fifth consecutive time. Sasha met Payson's gaze and smiled warmly at her. She smiled softly back before quickly stretching and taking to the bars.

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><p>Payson remembered the dream she'd had one morning after she fractured her spine. She remembered the way Lauren had obtusely repeated a rumour that Payson couldn't walk. She remembered the way that Sasha told her <em>"You can do this"<em>, and the cruel sensation as she flew on the bars like a bird darting and dancing, diving and soaring across the sky. She remembered starting training after the surgery, the loss of her power moves, the devastation when she realised her body had grown. She remembered taking to the bars and falling as she threw herself at them awkwardly over and over, plunging down like a stone dropped in a well. She couldn't fly anymore, rather she pulled herself over the bars, struggling, drowning, muscles aching and heart ready to break. Sasha threw her a lifeline and she kicked and screamed and pushed it away until he dove in and saved her. He pulled her out and taught her how to fly again. As she flipped over and under and between the bars, she flew, eyes closed and heart open. She could feel the bars as if they were an extension of her limbs. She flew up, turned, and caught the bar again, using the momentum to then somersault like a canonball and roll in the air before landing on the ground. Payson opened her eyes and everything started to reappear as reality seeped back in; the smell of chalk and sweat, the sounds of yelling, equipment squeaking, feet sticking landings and slaps of flesh against mats as gymnasts were harshly reminded of their failures. Sasha was standing in front of her, considering her carefully. Neither spoke for a moment as Payson drifted somewhere between reality and dreamland, caught in the intensity of Sasha's gaze. Sasha took in her expression, considering the way she'd just performed her bars routine and the absolute clarity that seemed to surround her on the bars.

"Come on." He nodded at the doors. "We're going to the annex building this afternoon to keep working on that vault."

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><p>"Remember, it's all about the speed and strength. If you don't get the approach right..."<p>

"I know." Payson blew a stray piece of hair from her face. She was sitting on the floor in the annex building at the beginning of the vault runway. Sasha paced as he dissected her vault.

"We need to work on building your lower body strength more specifically and-" Sasha was interrupted as the door opened and Lauren walked in.

"Sasha," She began, walking towards the pair, "can we go to lunch yet?" She stood, hands on hips, weight on one leg in her classic Lauren pose. Payson had known her long enough to recognise this was what she did when she wanted something, even if she didn't know she wanted it (flashbacks of being twelve years old, seeing young Lauren jut out one hip as Carter walked past, all eyes on Kaylie).

"Sure, Lauren." Sasha replied vaguely. "Payson, how about you come up to my office and we'll keep planning through lunch?"

"Okay." Payson replied. "Just give me a minute to put some clothes on and I'll see you up there."

As Lauren and Payson walked back to the main building, Lauren couldn't help herself.

"You know, if I didn't know what you guys were doing in there I'd think maybe you guys were back together."

Payson rolled her eyes. "Lauren, we were never together."

"Whatever. And 'I'll just put some clothes on'? What was that?" She teased. Payson laughed and shook her head, enjoying the warm sunshine on her skin. Things between Payson and Lauren had been somewhat strained since the Max debacle. Payson and Max were happily not-together together, which made Lauren roll her eyes at Payson finally finding a boy, only to put the relationship on the back burner. Although Lauren still stung from the rejection, she'd thrown herself into gymnastics and after clearing her conscience with Sasha, she'd kept working on "the Tanner" with proper coaching. If she could land it in a competition, no one would ever be able to deny that "the Bitch of the Beam" had earned her place.

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><p>Author's notes: Wow... 1000 words just isn't what it used to be. Anyway, as I warned last chapter, you can obviously see I'm procrastinating. I hope you all enjoy the fruits of my bad study habits although I'd really like to actually write a bigger chapter where something actually happens, but I'm not procrastinating quite that badly... yet. We'll see how it all works out. So yes, thank you for reading and thank you in case you review, add to an alert or add to a favourite and have a nice day.<p> 


	3. April, 2011

Author's Notes: I won't lie. I had a little fangirl squee moment when I found out they renewed _Make It or Break It_.

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><p>"And I don't understand why you needed to buy another pair of thousand-dollar shoes! You have a whole wardrobe just for the ones you already have!" Steve Tanner, father of arguably the most spoiled girl in Boulder, was finally tightening his leash. After losing his fiancé, his faith in his daughter as a person and receiving a massive wake-up call to his parenting skills, Steve had grounded Lauren and kept her under lock and key. He took away her car keys, her cell phone and her house keys so the only time she could come or go from the house was under his supervision. Little did he know that the disappointed way he looked at her killed Lauren a little every time they were together. Foolishly, though, Steve had left her with her computer (<em>"But I need it for my school work, Daddy."<em>) and a credit card to be used only in emergencies.

"Don't you understand how much trouble you're already in?" He didn't ask it kindly, no softness in his tone.

"I'm sorry, Daddy!" Lauren sat on her bed, eyes pointed firmly at the floor.

"Money has to come from somewhere, Lauren. If you keep going the way you are, you're going to have to learn that the hard way." Steve shook his head and left, firmly closing but not slamming the door behind him. Somehow the cool tone of his voice and steady, controlled movements made it worse. Lauren felt as though the air had been sucked from her lungs. Her tears fell steadily as she sobbed. Her father was breaking her and she didn't have anyone to talk to. Not anymore. She couldn't tell Payson what was wrong. Lauren almost laughed as she imagined how that would go down.

"_Hey Payson, so I sent that video of you and Sasha to Beals and now my Dad is keeping me locked up. Feel sorry for me."_

She couldn't tell Kaylie, for fear that she would tell Payson. Lauren could feel that, despite what he may say, she had strained her relationship with Sasha by confessing the first time. He would think her father's punishment was justified. Summer had gone, pushed away by the girl who needed her most. Lauren felt alone, guilty, caged and, most importantly, sorry. She was sorry for the way she acted and for sending the video to Ellen Beals. She was sorry she had disappointed her father, and sorry for the way his disapproval and disappointment radiated from him every time he saw her. She was sorry that he couldn't see how much she was hurting. She was sorry that she couldn't stop herself, in a moment of self-pity, from buying the coveted, one-of-a-kind shoes that no one else, not Kaylie, or Payson, or Kelly or anyone else could ever have. Lauren sniffled and wiped her tears away, making a resolve to stop feeling sorry for herself and start making things right. No more tears, no more spending, no more boys and no more disappointing her father. Lauren eyed her textbooks sitting in the corner, collecting dust. Often her father had dropped hints (or explicitly said) that he thought she could do better, and if it meant forgiveness, do better she would.

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><p>"So you and Sasha spent a lot of time together today." Becca Keller slipped into her conversation with Payson in what she had hoped would be a subtle way. Payson was icing Becca's ankle after an awkward landing on bars left it lightly sprained. In turn, Becca was forcing Payson to let her paint her toe nails. The two sisters sat on Payson's bed, feet touching as they faced each other. Payson shot her a pointed look.<p>

"What? I'm just sayin'," Becca defended herself, "you guys were in the annex building, like, all day and you were in his office all through your lunch break!" Payson sighed in response to her sister's probing.  
>"We were just working on my new vault." Payson responded, studying her purple toe nails. Becca seemed somewhere between relieved and disappointed. They were silent for a moment before Becca asked about what was going on with that "cute Max guy" and Payson threw a pillow at her.<p>

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><p>Sasha sighed in relief and fatigue as he closed the gym down for the day. The last lock clicked and Sasha withdrew to his trailer. He had avoided anything more, as it suggested permanency and a longer commitment. He had promised them Worlds, yet here he was still living in the carpark of the Rock, still coaching his gymnasts, still <em>here<em>. After they'd returned from Worlds, Sasha had started packing his things from the office when he'd found an invitation from last year's Rock Banquet. There was Kaylie on the cover, smiling broadly, happily, before her anorexia had taken hold. A small part of him urged him to stay, protested that she needed him to be stable, to be there supporting her. He shook it off, arguing that she had her friends and family, and she needed them more than she would ever need him. While going through his draws, he found old copies of paperwork for Emily Kmetko's scholarship. It pained him, what she had done. He wondered if her mother had been older when she'd given birth it would have made a difference. It pained him that he had failed her, that she made a mistake that killed her dreams and laid waste to the hours of pain and training she had put herself and her family through. He thought to himself wryly, _"Nothing you can do now"_, and moved on to the next drawer in his desk. His fingers graced over the training cam, and he'd sighed. Lauren Tanner, the girl perhaps most damaged, most vulnerable and most dangerous when she had something to lose. Summer often reiterated how important it was for her to have a strong role model. Summer had disappeared after Rio, avoiding Steve, Lauren and, probably, Sasha too. He had thought about dropping by her house but, after all, they weren't together and he doubted she wanted him interfering in her life any more than he already had. He wondered how Lauren would react to his departure. She had lost her mother, in all senses of the word, and if he left she would lose her coach, and probably the only person left who she trusted and who trusted her. Looking down at the training cam, Sasha thought about his fourth Rock girl. Payson. Their relationship was deep and complicated at a level he didn't share with the other girls.

"Of course, it's Payson." He had whispered to himself. She had flown halfway around the world and almost missed one of the biggest competitions of her life to see him. Emily and Lauren had come, too, but he knew whose idea it was. He carried around the medal he thought of as _theirs_, shared, in his pocket. Somehow it didn't seem right that he keep it, like it was only to be entrusted to Payson. So many things had happened between them, things that they'd gotten through together. He kept pushing her away and if he ran this time, he wasn't sure if she would follow (he tried to deny that he wanted her to, but the little voice in his head was very persistent).

Sasha had clenched his hand around the medal, _Payson's medal_ the little voice had insisted, and he knew the decision had been made for him. He wouldn't be leaving Boulder until London, 2012.

"Damn it!" Sasha hissed when he remembered he'd meant to go over Kaylie's footage from the training cam tonight. Resigned to the fact that a night of relaxation was out of the picture, he grabbed the keys for the Rock and a left over slice of pizza from the fridge before heading over to the office. He headed out of his trailer and was greeted with a pleasant surprise.  
>"Oh!" Payson breathed in as her coach emerged from his home.<p>

"Payson!" He greeted cheerfully, "What are you doing here?" A light breeze brushed some stray tendrils of her hair against her cheek. She shivered and brought her arms around herself closer.

"I think I left my cell in my locker. Could I go have a look?"

"Sure. I was about to go over some footage from today anyway." Payson chuckled.

"Fun" She remarked sarcastically, drawing out the word. They walked across the carpark together, both aware of a warmth not afforded by the temperature. The mood between them was light and jovial, but there was something Sasha couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Would you care to join me?" He asked without thinking, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Sure," Payson replied, "I can stay for a few minutes."

When he unlocked the door, Payson disappeared to the locker room and Sasha set up the office. He had noticed a faint trace of vanilla and something floral after lunch, and found himself disappointed when it had faded.

"Found it." Payson appeared in the door way, crossed the room, and sat down on the couch against the wall. "Let's get started." Sasha passed her a clipboard and a pen to write comments on.

"Kaylie's first." He told her. Watching her friend's beam routine, Payson verbalised the most obvious thing.

"She lost a lot of muscle mass while she was out."

"Yeah," Sasha agreed, "I was actually thinking you two might want to do some weight training together."

"Yeah I guess," Payson replied, adding, "but I'd rather do it with you." before she could stop herself. He smiled as she tried to process what just happened.

"We can do that." He told her. "If you come by early tomorrow morning we can get started with your legs."

"Early like my usual time or early like… I shouldn't bother going home?" She asked, embarrassed.

He chuckled. "Early like your usual time." They settled into companionable silence, both sitting on the couch, focused on the TV screen.

After going through the second elite string, Sasha suggested they take a break. Somewhere between Mia Delphine and Sarah Mills, Payson had kicked her shoes off and curled her legs beneath herself. They sat, comparing and discussing their notes, only an inch or two away from each other. Payson's phone buzzed, making the girl groan.

"Sorry, Mom wants me to get home now."

"No, that's alright." Sasha told her. "I probably kept you later than I should have." They stood together, not noticing the small gap separating them. There seemed something natural about standing so close to Payson, like he was meant to be there.

"I'll walk you to your car." He offered, aware of the darkness that was outside. When they reached her car, she turned to him.

"You know, it was almost fun tonight, looking through those videos." She told him, leaning against the car door. The slightly orange light of the street lamp bounced off her skin, making her face almost glow. There was still a slight breeze around, which caught Payson's stray hair and blew it towards him. Vanilla. Something floral. Sasha realised it was Payson's hair that smelled so enchanting.

"You're most welcome to stay and help me any time you like." He offered. She smiled and unlocked the car.

"Maybe I will." She got in the driver's seat. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sasha."

"Good night, Payson." She closed the door, waited for him to step back, and started the engine. As she pulled away from the parking lot, she waved back at him, still standing under the street lamp, raising a hand in response. Sasha breathed in again, still appreciating the gentle scent of Payson's shampoo. He locked up the Rock again, no longer able to make himself study the footage. A small part of him whispered that he hoped they were alone again tomorrow; just Sasha, Payson and the weights machines.


	4. April, 2011 Part Two

Author's Notes: Well, I don't really have a whole lot to say, other than to apologise for the large gap since I last updated. But hey, at least I didn't leave you on a massive cliffhanger. I guess nothing much really happens this chapter, but I tried to sort of... get into Sasha's head a little. Understand his reasoning, perhaps. Either way, I hope you enjoy.

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><p>He watched a line appear between her eyes, lips turn down, eyes narrow. She was frowning at the spot where his trailer had been. She turned towards the gym doors slightly as she shifted her weight from one leg to another. The gym was calling, she knew, but somehow she couldn't move yet. <em>He's gone<em> was her first thought, followed quickly by anger. At what? That he didn't warn them? That he stayed for awhile and got her hopes up? She wasn't quite sure, only that his trailer was gone.

At first thought, the idea of someone living in a caravan when they could be living somewhere nicer suggested a temporary arrangement. Sasha was a man who appreciated experiences, whether it be with a person or alone. Unlike Steve Tanner, he did not own aged alcohol for the prestige and status statement, but for the taste. He played _Guitar Hero_ for the fun of it, not because of the marketing to sad men looking to get laid. He loved good food, but rarely had the time to prepare more than a bowl of cereal. He lived in the Rock's car park because he intended to give his gymnasts everything, not because he was inclined to leave. His Airstream had been initially parked in a caravan park when he returned from Romania. He hadn't intended to stay, but he had found himself unable to leave again. Moving his home back into the Rock carpark signified a commitment, just as it had the first time. Moving into an apartment close by and commuting was Sasha's way of dealing with his elite girls. He had an unshakable feeling that staying so close was a bad idea. Afterall, look at how it turned out the first time. But he meant to stay in Boulder at least until the Olympics, potentially staying on to guide the younger members of his second elite string and his level tens through the next quadrennial.

"Payson." Sasha called to her from beside his motorbike. She visibly relaxed at the sight of him.

"Sasha, where's your trailer?" Her tone was akin to that of a mother asking her naughty child where the cookies had gone.

"Right now? In the parking lot of my apartment complex."

"You got an apartment?" Payson asked, eyes shining in excitement. An apartment meant a lease and domesticity, it meant he couldn't just up and leave, it meant he was staying.

"Yep. You won't have to worry about me running off any time soon." He smiled at her. He felt like there was something missing. That night he figured out, while trying to get to sleep, that it was because she didn't hug him and grab his hand or touch him in any way, shape or form. Later still he would figure out that he really wanted her to.

The grin stayed on her face until they reached the gym and got down to business.

* * *

><p>"Don't force it, Payson." Sasha warned. Payson pushed against the weights with her legs. After Kaylie's struggle with anorexia, Sasha had used the surplus budget and donations to invest in exercise machines and weights so he and the assistant coaches could monitor the girls' training. The new gym equipment was situated in the old storeroom, a dimly lit concrete room diagonally beneath the office that was still stocked with wedges, spare mats and a freezer full of ice packs.<p>

"It's fine," She insisted, "I can take it."

Sasha raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure?" He glanced at the weights. "Is your back alright?"

"It's fine. I think I could take more, actually." She pondered, testing the resistance of the weights with her legs.

"Keep it low weight, high rep. We want to build strength, but if you bulk up you risk losing some moves, especially on floor."

"Got it."

"All right, I'll get started on some paperwork. Stay on that for another 15 minutes, don't hold each one for more than a few seconds, then move onto your upper body for another half hour. I'll be in the office if you need me."

Just before the door closed behind Sasha, Payson heard Lauren proclaiming a "Hi Sasha" and the door of the changing rooms open. It was more out of courtesy than modesty that the girls bothered to go to the changing rooms just to take off a track suit over their leotard. Payson had ditched that formality while training her floor routine with Sasha in Pikes. Since then, when they were alone, Payson had grown accustomed to undressing in front of him, and Sasha no longer looked away.

When Payson finished her weight training, she stretched quickly and approached Sasha where he was working with Lauren on beam.

"Push it, Lauren!" He yelled. She landed 'the Tanner' and wobbled only slightly to regain her balance. "Good." He praised her. He noticed Payson, studying Lauren's movements, frowning slightly. She closed the distance between them and whispered into his ear.

"Maybe if she kept her shoulders more relaxed before the round off it'll be," Her suggestion was interrupted by Lauren's body hitting the mat, "easier to land." She finished aloud.

Sasha nodded. "Lauren, warm up your other routines, we'll come back to beam later."

"Sure." Lauren replied. "Morning, Pay."

"Hey, Lauren." Payson knew the cheery greeting was caused by one thing; caffeine, and lots of it. They smiled at each other as Lauren left for the bars.

"So what should I start training first?" Payson asked.

"I was thinking we might start on your new beam routine."

"I'm doing a new beam routine?" Payson asked, surprised.

"I really think we could do more with your artistry." He told her. She nodded, finding truth in his words.

"So what kind of mount will I start with?" She asked, standing next to the beam.

"Actually, I'd like to show you something first."

* * *

><p>Lauren scowled when, after landing her bars routine perfectly, she turned around to see Sasha guiding Payson outside, hand hovering on the small of her back. The green-eyed monster inside flared up and started chewing on her intestines. No one could deny that he and Payson shared something special. No one could deny either that there was a physical aspect to their relationship he didn't quite share with anyone else. They were constantly in contact somehow; helping with extensions, a hand on her shoulder, a hug when a routine came together. This morning she heard voices echoing from the weight room, Payson and Sasha alone together <em>again<em>. For a while it seemed that their relationship had cooled, a slight rift appearing when his attention to Lauren and Kaylie greatly outweighed the time he spent with Payson. But, surely enough, the essential bond remained stronger than his relationships with his other gymnasts.

After seeing Sasha slipping out of the old storeroom, Lauren had waylaid him, insisting that her beam was almost there and it was far more important than his paperwork. Looking out the window, she still couldn't understand how she'd dragged herself out of bed and got to the gym before the sun was even up. The first signs of light were mixing with the harsh fluorescent lighting in the gym when Sasha had guided Payson out. She frowned again and huffed. They'd definitely had a "breakthrough" but she couldn't help but feel she would never have what Payson had with Sasha.

* * *

><p>"What is it?" Payson asked bluntly. Sasha laughed, leaning down so their faces were even as he placed one hand between her shoulder blades and pointed at the horizon with the other.<p>

"Look, Payson."

She turned to him, frowning. "I don't get it. What am I supposed to be seeing?"

"Just watch." He admonished. He stood straight again, but his hand remained on Payson's back.

"I can't watch if I don't know what I'm watching."

"The sunrise." Sasha answered simply. "See how beautiful it is. The sun slowly emerging; peaking up from above the horizon and rising above the world." As he spoke, he gestured with his hand. They stood together as Sasha felt Payson exhale and relax beneath his hand.

"It's beautiful." She commented, completely mesmerised by the colours splayed out across the light blue sky.

"I want you to be the sun, Payson. Bright and graceful, dancing across the sky."

"On beam?" She asked, uncertain. "You know that's my weakest event."

"And if we focus on this new beam routine while you're conditioning for vault, you won't have a weakest event."

She smiled at him, and his hand finally dropped from her back.

"So how late should I stay tonight?"

Sasha laughed, amused by her eagerness at 6.30 in the morning. "Let's see how you're feeling after conditioning this afternoon."


	5. April, 2011 Part Three

Author's Notes: Just out of interest, you know how Payson would pretty much follow Sasha anywhere? Do you think Sasha would follow her?

Also, I'm not really sure about canon timelines… I don't think they're usually very explicit in MIOBI (for whatever reason). Thus, I've created my own.

And thirdly, 'the Tanner' is referenced early in the series and then never mentioned again. I thought that was kind of strange. I also just wanted to mention that to… justify myself, I guess (?).

And fourthly, thank you to everyone who reviewed/alerted/favourited this story! To Gaia, specifically; there was a reason for the shampoo that will become apparent soon enough ;)

#

It was March, 2011 when Payson discovered her vault, April when her beam routine started coming together, and May when she started landing both of them semi-consistently. It had taken two months of coming early every morning, staying late every night, extra conditioning and regular ballet lessons to achieve. Coincidentally, May was also when Madame Viola held her annual ballet recital and this year, no matter how much she protested, Payson was to partake in it. And so, with those events taking place, Payson found herself at 5 pm one Wednesday not doing overtime in the gym, but walking from Madam Viola's studio to the bus stop just down the street. She noticed loud music with a thumping bass line and strong rhythm coming from the public gym as she walked past. There was a large window in the front of the gym through which classes should be seen. Payson couldn't help but stop in front of it, slightly in awe, yet highly embarrassed by her interest. There was an advanced pole dancing class going on inside, and even she, _an elite gymnast_, was impressed by the strength, flexibility and control required by the moves the women inside were pulling. Suddenly Sasha's voice echoed in her head. _Your beam routine is still missing something… some emotion or… I don't know how to explain it_. She understood what he meant, but didn't know how to add the elusive element. Seeing the pole class made a connection – there was something in the way the women moved, but not like Lauren's "sizzle", that was smooth, subtle, memorable. She knew instinctively that that was what she needed. Cheeks slightly pink, she went inside and enquired about the class, taking away timetable and an insurance form.

#

"So did Payson tell you about her ballet recital?" Kim asked Sasha sociably from behind her desk.

"No, she hasn't mentioned it." Sasha replied.

"Well she keeps complaining to me about how she doesn't think it's fair she has to go but Madame Viola insists."

From what Sasha knew of the ballet instructor, gathered from his sympathy-lesson for Payson, this didn't surprise him at all. Besides, even Madame Viola had admitted Payson danced now with elegance and technique. She had once suggested that, if it would not interfere with her training, Payson may one day be ready for pointe.

"You should come. It might make Payson feel better if she has some extra support."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose." Sasha said, very vaguely aware that a ballet recital might be one of those things he wasn't meant to do with his gymnasts. It could fall under "romantic attachment", something the NGO had firmly reminded was something that, as a coach, _he did not do_.

"Don't be silly, of course you wouldn't be. I'll email you the details later." Kim insisted. Well, if his gymnast's _mother_ would be there, there wasn't anything wrong with it. Plus, he admitted to himself when Kim's email came through, seeing Payson dance had become one of his great joys in life, just above seeing his gymnasts succeeding and happy, but just below seeing Payson hit her floor routine. Seeing her create a story through her movements, watching her face transform into something beyond beautiful, almost _ethereal_, was not something he ever wanted to miss.

#

"Sasha, what are these?" Lauren asked, paper in hand.

"Your new timetables." Sasha stated in his adorable, English, isn't-it-obvious tone he often used on his American gymnasts.

"Our what?" Kaylie asked. The three elites had been given sheets of paper, detailing when they would be training on each apparatus, and who with for how long, including lunch and rest times, conditioning programmes and a suggested sleep routine.

"The closer we come to the Olympics," Sasha explained, "the more individual attention you require. It has come to my attention lately that perhaps our old style of training might not be entirely adequate anymore. Each of your conditioning regimes is designed specifically with your routines in mind. Because of that, we need to discuss any other kinds of exercise you do. Any questions?"

Payson was biting her lip, like she wanted to ask something but couldn't. Kaylie looked like she wanted to groan, and Lauren looked as if his new training plan was an indictment against human rights.

"Can we still put in extra time?" Payson asked.

"Yes, though we should try and plan for it ahead of time. I don't want _any_ of you overworking yourselves," He glanced at Kaylie, "especially with the Olympic trials only a year away. Anything that happens from here on in is potentially damaging to your chances of making the team, and I don't intend for anything to stop you achieving your dreams."

"I guess we better get started then." Kaylie said. With that, the group began to disperse, and Sasha turned to attend to his level 10's.

"Um, Sasha?" Sasha turned to see a very meek looking Payson. "Uh… what about dancing?"

"It's fine, Payson. I already took your ballet into account."

She looked in no way relieved, but lost her nerve to tell him about what she was really worried about.

"Okay," She looked down at her timetable. "See you at 2."

#

"Payson, if you turn out like that again you will dislocate a knee. Start again." Madame Viola corrected her _gently_ with her cane. "Ashley, how many times have I told you to focus on one spot during your pirouette? Everyone will start again." The ballerinas reassembled. They began as a single-line formation, much in the way they were during barre exercises. They began the piece as if running through a set of exercises in a lesson, before they would pirouette and move towards the audience. Each girl had a small solo, choreographed like a conversation, of call-and-response. It _should_ look beautiful, and while each dancer was technically proficient, not everyone had grasped the story.

"You are a chorus, ladies. You dance together, you tell a story with your bodies." Madame Viola sighed and looked at the clock. "It is time to warm down. We shall resume next week. Hopefully, you will all be ready by then."

Payson stretched and dressed quickly, anxious to make it to the class on time. _One will be enough, one will be enough_ was the mantra playing through her head. A casual class for beginners started after the advanced class ended, which gave Payson exactly 15 minutes to get from the ballet studio to the gym down the street. She looked at the clock. 10 minutes to go. She'd better hurry.

#

Payson was right. One class was enough to understand the difference in movement between pole dancing and her beam routine. The dancing was slow, yet deliberate, which gave a feeling of sensuality (as opposed to Lauren's trademark; sexy). The essence of that movement was something she needed to translate to her beam routine to make the movements flow.

"Payson?" A pleasant English accent broke through her reverie, "What are you doing here?"

_'__Oh, god. He knows"_ was all Payson could think of. Sasha looked at her, confused.

"Um," eloquence be damned, "I just came from my, uh, ballet lesson." Yes, yes, that was it. It was sort of true. Ish.

"I was just getting some groceries. My apartment is around the corner." Sasha explained, gesturing to the intersection ahead.

"Oh, okay." _Please, God, kill me now._ "I'm just... waiting for my bus. Mom's got stuff at the Rock."

"Yes, I know. I just left her to lock up."

Payson could feel her cheeks growing hotter every second. He was going to find out, she was sure of it.

"I can give you a ride home if you'd like. We'd just have to walk to my car."

Payson evaluated her options. On one hand, the longer she talked to Sasha, the greater the chance of him finding out about the pole dancing was. On the other hand, there was a creepy guy on the same bus route as her sometimes who was fond of incessant staring. And she really would get home quicker with Sasha.

"If it's not any trouble," She managed to string the words together, "I'd really appreciate that."

He smiled warmly. "It's no trouble at all."

#

"So how's the ballet coming along? Your mum mentioned you have a recital coming up."

"It's okay, I guess. I think it's a waste of time with me so close to the Olympics."

"Payson, do you remember a few weeks after I came to the Rock, you did the fashion show to raise money to get to Nationals?"

"Yeah. I still think it was a waste of time. I had to cancel resistance training for it."

"The point is," He smiled at her affectionately, "there will always be distractions, and things that you don't want to do, but they're good for you anyway."

She sighed and pulled what came very close to a pout. "I still think it's stupid."

He laughed. "If it would make you feel better, your mum did invite me to your recital."

"Ugh, save yourself the boredom. Seriously. It's just a bunch of prissy girls jumping around in tutus."

"Maybe so, but I'm sure you look very good in a tutu." He teased.

She resisted the urge to poke her tongue out at him, but laughed anyway. She noticed they were only a few streets away from her house. They lapsed into companionable silence as the houses went past. He pulled into her driveway and she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"I just remembered something," She said, "about the fashion show? It was the first time you called me beautiful." He smiled affectionately at her, meeting her gaze.

"And it certainly wasn't the last time, was it?" He replied. Payson felt herself flush. She fumbled for her bag and broke eye contact.

"Thanks for the ride." She said, as if nothing had just happened. "I was thinking of coming in early tomorrow morning. Is that okay?"

"I'll be there at 5.30 to unlock for you. Maybe we can go through your beam routine before Lauren arrives?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks, Sasha."

They said good bye, and she hopped out of the car and went inside the house. Hearing only Becca upstairs in her room, Payson slid down the inside of the front door. Her cheeks were flushed, her heart was racing. Clearly, the air conditioning in Sasha's truck musn't have been working. Obviously. What else could it be?

#

A/N: I wrote most of that late at night. Very late at night. Early morning, in fact. I don't have a beta, so for all I know it might not make any sense at all to anyone else. Oh well, I'm hoping to get into more of a plot via more scenes at the gym, but updates will be slow because I just starting university. Engineering. Because obviously I must be a masochist.


	6. May, 2011

Author's Notes: I think I keep mixing tenses. But most importantly, I've never actually written anything sexual tension-y before, so I kind of feel like this is a little over the top or maybe just bad… Yeah, so feel free to let me know what you think!

#

Sasha was speechless. His mouth was dry, his palms were sweaty, and he felt like he'd just swallowed his tongue. Ever more urgently came to need to press his favourite gymnast against the beam, wrap her legs around his waist, pull aside her leotard and,

"Sasha?" Payson almost whispered. The way he was looking at her made her feel hot all over. That dark, possessive look.

"Payson." His voice was low and gravelly. It sent a shiver of pleasure down her spine. She felt herself react. "Where on earth," He paused and gave her a once over, "did you learn to move," he stepped closer, she licked her lips, "like that?" Payson felt like she was burning from the inside out. A path of fire seemed to follow where his eyes were trailing over her.

"But," Sasha continued, stepping closer to her. Payson felt like her knees were about to give way. "Your extensions were a little sloppy." He reached toward her, and she almost whimpered. "You need to remember to keep your arms," his calloused hands brushed hers, "extended." He drew her arms away from her body with the lightest touch. The contact sent shivers down Payson's spine. Not trusting herself to speak, Payson could only nod. She looked up and met his gaze. His hands ghosted along her arms, to her collarbones and finally her throat.

"You need to stay graceful. Keep your neck long." He slid his hands up, and cupped her neck just below her jaw. She reacted immediately, elongating her throat, reaching his face towards his. "Just like that."

She could swear that he was leaning down, a look of wanting in his eyes. Her eyes, already half-lidded, began to close of their own accord. She could practically feel the distance between them closing, his hands cupping her cheeks, when the door to the gym burst open and Lauren and Kaylie waltzed in. Payson didn't know how it happened, but suddenly Sasha was at the other end of the beam. She wondered briefly if she'd imagined the whole thing. The way his eyes ghosted her curves told her she _definitely_ had not.

#

"Hey, Payson," Max slid up beside her at the chalk bowl, "do you wanna get a Spruice Juice later?"

"Sure," She smiled. She and Max had mutually decided (or maybe she had decided, and he had agreed) that their training came first, until the Olympics were over. They maintained an easy friendship, punctuated by hugs, pecks on the cheek and occasional non-platonic kisses. They often hung out together after practice at Spruice Juice, though more often than not "hanging out" entailed running or working out. Their relationship was no-drama, which Payson liked, no-pressure, which was nice for a change, and it made her feel secure. Payson was happy in her relationship with Max, and he was happy with her.

But… Payson had known, from the second that the words slipped out of her mouth, that "I love you" was too soon and too strong for what she felt for Max. Her suspicions were confirmed when he kissed her for the first time and she had to try her hardest not to compare him to a memory she refused to acknowledge. So yes, she was happy with Max, and he was happy with her, and he made her feel safe and admired and respected… But… Sasha caught her eye from across the gym, where he was taking the level tens. His eyes burned into hers, sending a potent flashback of that morning. A surge of heat flooded through her, and she dropped her gaze back to the chalk. A single glance from Sasha affected her more than Max had in their entire relationship. Payson felt a pang of guilt, but for what she wasn't sure, and for sanity's sake didn't want to analyse.

#

"Payson's totally trying to ice us out." Lauren concluded, running her fingers through the chalk bowl.

"What? That's crazy!" Kaylie laughed.

"No, I'm serious. I mean, think about it. She's edging me out of beam and you out on vault. I mean, I can't even tell what her D. are anymore. It's ridiculous."

"Lauren, Payson's our friend. She's getting better, yeah, but so are we. Aren't you working on a new bars routine? I'm learning a new tumbling pass for my floor. It's just what happens. If it's psyching you out that much, you should just talk to Sasha about upgrading your other routines as well." Perhaps a year ago, when Kaylie was in the throes of anorexia, Lauren's accusation would have weaselled its way into her head and psyched her out, but she was stronger now, and she wasn't going to let Lauren mess with her head (intentionally or not).

Lauren huffed. "You know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do."

"Good for you." Kaylie laughed. "You know, you really shouldn't let it get to you so much."

Lauren's face contorted slightly. "Whatever. Can you spot me? I really wanna nail this jaeger."

#

It was the end of another day. All of his gymnasts had gone home. For once, Payson hadn't stayed late, although he had tried all day not to dwell too long on his young gymnast. '_She's only 17, she's only 17. Don't think about it. Don't think about her. She's only 17.'_ had been his mantra for the day. What Sasha decided he needed was a drink. Or two. Or five. Alone in his apartment, he didn't trust the combination of alcohol, solitude, and fresh memories of a certain blonde's lithe body dancing on the beam like… that.

'_What the hell',_ He thought_, 'there's a bar around the corner from my flat'_.

Sasha's first impression of 'Jim's Tavern' was that it was as typically American as a typical American bar could be. Barman in a red flannel shirt, warm lighting, booths playing host to a number of couples and groups. He guessed that most of the other patrons looked like business men and groups in their twenties have a quiet night out. There was a pleasant atmosphere, and a nice hum of background conversation to distract him from his thoughts.

"What can I get you?" The barman, a middle-aged man, presumably named Joe, asked when Sasha took a seat at the bar.

"Scotch, thanks." His drink only took a moment to be placed in front of him. The door opened again. Sasha took a sip of his scotch. He heard a female voice order a cosmo and a shot of vodka. He observed the woman in his peripheral vision as she sat at the other end of the bar. Blonde hair ('_Shorter than Payson's'_ whispered a treacherous voice in his mind), a slender face, and body language that screamed major exhaustion. When he was certain she wasn't looking, he glanced over. She was pretty, dressed professionally, and looked as likely to come into a bar as do a routine on the pommel horse. When the barman gave her the drinks, she did the shot of vodka with a grimace, then sighed and started on the cosmo.

#

"It's just hard, ya know?" The pretty blonde woman, Sarah, told Sasha. Sometime between her third cocktail and his third scotch, she had slid down the bar to sit next to him and introduced herself. "I mean," She continued, " I know they're short staffed but I can't keep commuting from Denver every morning. They should just hire another planner. Just because I'm only working on one wedding doesn't mean I can keep doing this." Sarah was a wedding planner with an agency that had offices throughout Colorado.

"I know a man who used to work Minnesota during the week and flew back here to his family on the weekends." Sasha commented.

"Oh, wow. That must've been really hard for them."

"Yeah it was for a while, but then Payson got some sponsors so it was fine." In his pleasantly buzzed state, he didn't quite realise how little sense that would make to an outsider. And, of course, that he had just directed their conversation to the topic he came here to avoid.

"What did he get sponsors for?" Sarah looked confused.

"Oh, no, Mark was the man, and Payson is his eldest daughter. She got her sponsors for gymnastics."

"Oh, I guess she's pretty good then."

Sasha closed his eyes sighed, almost groaned, when the image of Payson moving sensually on the beam worked its way into his head. He opened his eyes and saw Sarah looking at him, slightly concerned.

"I'm her coach," Was all he said, as if it explained everything, "and I probably need to go home so I can get up early to let her into the gym." Even though his head was fuzzy, he knew he couldn't ignore real life forever.

#

Although Sasha had delayed it for a few hours, he was right to not trust alcohol, solitude and Payson's routine. He stepped under the spray of his shower, and closed his eyes. Almost instantly, there was Payson. She was on the beam, doing a cartwheel incredible slowly, displaying her strength and grace. Each of her limbs was extended perfectly. But there was something in the way she moved through the cartwheel, especially when her legs formed a ninety degree angle half-way through, that made some more basal part of his mind begin to pay attention. She moved from the cartwheel into a round-off with deliberate execution. They had built her routine to begin with the most basic of gymnastic skills, before becoming increasingly difficult as the routine progressed. Although her tumbling, mount and dismount wouldn't amount to impressive power on the beam, the dance elements and connectivity gave Payson a large bonus. Sasha remembered and relived the way she moved from element to element. There was fluidity in her movements. Her back arched and her shoulders were pushed back as she danced and teased on the beam. She was sexy, and she was deliberate, and together it made one of the most attractive sights he had ever seen. She was sexy and sensual, without practically screaming "LOOK AT ME!" the way Lauren did. Her movements emphasised her breasts and hips, whether intentional or not. It was the first time Sasha had ever seen Payson look so tempting. And perhaps that would have been easier to ignore if he didn't already know exactly what each curve of her body pressed against his felt like. He groaned. He couldn't be thinking about her like that, no matter how… confident she had become. He tried to ignore his thoughts, but eventually conceded to turn his shower icy cold. The cold water helped to clear his head as the stark reality of his situation hit him. He was hopelessly drawn to Payson. Payson, his seventeen-year-old gymnast. Payson who he almost certainly would have kissed this morning if Lauren and Kaylie hadn't arrived. He knew he wouldn't run away again, so there was only one thing he could do. Act like nothing had happened and avoid physical contact whenever possible.

#

Author's Notes the Second: I had a massive nerd-out when I wanted to compare Max and Payson to dispersion forces, and Payson and Sasha to hydrogen bonding. But I hope that the comparison with either

a: Help you memorise different intermolecular forces for your next chemistry exam or

b: Help you understand what I meant.

c: Or if you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry and just stick with comfortable affection vs. veritable soul mates.

And don't think you've seen the last of Sarah! I sat down the other day and planned out a timeline of what will happen, when it will happen, plots and whatnot. Of course, there's still heaps I have to nut out, but I have a horrible habit of not actually ever finishing my stories, and I didn't want to do it again! I wish I could just magically turn it into a story, because I think it's quite good. Just a warning though, don't expect Payson and Sasha to get together straight away! I have a feeling it will take them a little while to figure out how they feel about each other, what they should do next ;) Plus, I sort of enjoy all the romantic and sexual tension they constantly have going on. Like every time they speak to each other (alone) they're just dripping in the stuff. In canon, anyway, because I know my writing isn't that good.


	7. May, 2011 Part Two

Author's Note: It may interest you to know that I only got into MIOBI after season two had ended, so I was able to watch all the episodes whenever I wanted, without having to wait. That said, I'm now finding it impossible to wait another week for the next episode!

#

"Yes ladies, good. Much better." Madame Viola praised. It was Friday afternoon, the final rehearsal before the recital. "Tell the story with your movements. Ballet is about making every movement as beautiful as possible." Their ballet mistress peppered her class with comments about their movements, correcting only small details. "Yes, I think you are very ready." After a few more run-throughs, she dismissed the class.

"Payson, will you stay behind for a moment, please?" Payson noticed several of the dancers in her class exchange looks at the request. The room cleared quickly, and soon they were alone.

"Now, I know that you are a gymnast, but I would think that dance has come to play a large part in your routines, am I correct?" Madame Viola questioned.

"On floor and beam, definitely." Payson agreed.

"I think, from what I have seen, that you understand better than many of my girls what dedication is. You want to be an Olympian."

Unsure of where the conversation was going, Payson just nodded. Madame Viola sighed.

"I know that gymnastics is your first love, but I am sure that somewhere in there is a dancer. I spoke to your coach earlier today." Payson raised her eyebrows, surprised. Sasha hadn't mentioned it to her. "We talked about the possibilities of you taking private lessons as well as classes to accelerate your learning. He advised me that in floor routines, many gymnasts do not take full advantage of their dance elements to raise their," She had to pause to remember the words, "degrees of difficulty."

Payson began to put together the pieces. Was her ballet teacher actually suggesting what Payson thought she was?

"I expect that Sasha will want to discuss this more fully with you, but he believes that if you take dance fully into your heart, you will outstrip the other gymnasts and exploit their weaknesses. It will be a lot of work in addition to your training. I believe you can do it, Payson. I can see that if you work with me, I can make you a very beautiful dancer."

"He didn't mention any of this to me." Was Payson's only response, her mind still working through the new information.

Madame Viola smiled slightly. "I think you have done something to him, Payson, without realising. Perhaps without him realising, too."

"What do you mean? I don't understand." Payson frowned, trying to find meaning in the French woman's words.

Madame Viola smiled again. "You will understand one day. Now I want you to discuss your schedule with him and let me know when is best for your lessons. I would also suggest investing in a pair of pointe shoes soon, so you can wear them in before we begin more serious work."

#

"I would be concerned if I were you." Lauren noted casually, in the way that only Lauren could. Max, who had just finished up on parallel bars, took a moment to catch his breath.

"What do you mean?" He asked when he had enough oxygen to spare.

"Payson and Sasha. Just look at them together." Across the gym, Payson was on beam, halted part of the way through her routine. She was in the centre of the beam, legs split perfectly. Sasha brushed his hand over her left foot to help her point it, then did the same to her right. He came in to the centre and stood in front of Payson, grazing her chin with his hand, apparently to help her elongate her neck.

"They're practically dripping sexual tension." Lauren pointed out.

Max shook his head. "No way. Sasha's our coach. He's just doing what a coach does."

Lauren made a sound of disbelief. "Please, have you ever seen another coach touch an athlete like that?" As if on cue, Sasha took Payson's hands into his own and guided them through the air. He stepped away, and the expression on Payson's face relaxed _almost_ unperceivably.

"Maybe he isn't into her, but she's already kissed him once. I'm just saying." Lauren flounced away, leaving Max to observe the interactions between his girlfriend and their coach. It was a victory for Lauren. Surely Max would step up the romance between himself and Payson, which would leave Sasha totally available.

On the other side of the gym, Payson and Sasha were being watched by a second set of eyes. Despite her chastising Lauren, Kaylie had begun to think about her routines and, seeing Payson's new beam and vault, realised she was in danger of becoming complacent and falling behind. She seriously needed to talk to Sasha about upgrading her other routines. Her vaults were strong, but if she wanted to be a serious contender for the Olympics, she couldn't be thought of as a specialist. Things for Kaylie were evening out and she was coming back from her eating disorder well. With girls like Payson and Emily around, people often didn't mention the enormous amounts of natural talent Kaylie had for gymnastics. After all, she nailed an Amanar after only a few days of serious training after being out for six weeks. For a long time, Kaylie had used that natural talent to her advantage, but as she was working her way back up to the top, she could feel every twist was just a little harder than it was before. Sasha kept saying that it would take time and conditioning to get back to where she was, but Kaylie could feel in her bones that her gymnastics had changed. All she knew was that she wasn't Payson. Her body hadn't changed during her time out because she didn't have enough body fat. Her come back wasn't the same in any way. She couldn't redefine herself as a gymnast and come out on top. Although she tried to ignore it, Kaylie could feel her ceiling coming closer and closer, and once she hit it, there was no going back.


	8. May, 2011 Part Three

"Today's the day!" Madame Viola sang as she walked through the changing rooms. All around her were girls of various ages in different costumes according to age group. Next door were the scant few boys, waiting for their female counterparts to finish dressing.

Payson was gritting her teeth, wishing it could be over already. She had her costume on, her hair was done and her makeup was perfect. If only the rest of the dancers could be finished, the show could get underway. Whenever she was put in situations like this, she was always reminded of how her body was different, and with no Sasha there to distract her, the whole situation was torturous. Not only did her curves set her apart, but most of the dancers completely ignored her. Mostly it was unintentional, an unfortunate by-product of being contented with their previous friendships and finding no interest in the new girl. But still, they could at least have the decency to say hi. She watched as Madame Viola pulled aside the best dancers in the school to remind them of the scouts in the audience for various schools and companies. The thought that ballet was easier to succeed at than gymnastics had crossed Payson's mind before, given the longevity possible of a dancer's career and the number of dance companies around the country. The thought usually didn't last long, because as soon as she saw the serious students preparing to compete for a place in an academy it made it clear to her that dance was another world entirely. And besides, she wouldn't give up her dream of being an Olympian for anything.

Sasha inhaled sharply as the dancers entered the stage. After an hour of little girls in pretty costumes showing off for their parents, it was finally what he'd been waiting for. Payson was dressed in the same white dress as the other girls, but his eye was drawn to her immediately. Her lips had been painted red to match the ribbon in her hair, and being the most colourful part of her face, naturally his attention was drawn there. He admired the curve of her neck and the way the cut of the costume around her chest complimented her beautifully. He felt someone nudge him slightly and he broke out of his reverie. He panicked slightly when he saw Kim watching, lest she get the wrong idea about his gaze. Much to his relief, she simply pointed at the programme and mentioned that Payson would have a solo at some point, but the main attraction was meant to be the tall, auburn-haired girl in the middle, who had already been accepted into the New York Academy of Dance. As Sasha turned his attention back to the stage, he noticed Max Spencer making puppy eyes at Payson from a few rows away. The scowl that settled on his face was almost instantaneous. Clearly, he would have to remind his male gymnast that Payson was very clearly _off-limits_. A little voice in his head protested "off-limits… she's mine," but he quickly quelled that thought. Luckily for him, the music began and the girls began dancing. Again, his eye was immediately drawn to Payson and he felt his face relax into a smile.

"_God, she's so beautiful."_ Her movements continued to mesmerise him, and his eyes remained glued to her through the entire performance. Her arm positions, the point of her toes, the lines of her limbs were all perfect. Yes, this was definitely one of his favourite things in the world to watch. He was so enthralled by the performance that he forgot about seeing Max until the mixer afterwards where parents could talk to the teachers and everyone stood around nibbling on crackers and cakes. Payson appeared about twenty minutes after the recital had ended, still in her costume and balancing a platter filled with cheese and crackers. As soon as she saw him, she made a beeline across the room, ignoring anyone in her way. She made a disgruntled sighing sound and put the platter down on the table already laden with food next to Sasha.

"Madame Viola thought it would be nice if we came out to serve in costume." She explained dourly. "I can't believe I wasted my whole afternoon on this."

He laughed, the spell he'd fallen under broken. "Payson, you looked beautiful up there."

"I'm glad you think so." She said, almost sarcastically. "It sure made all those dance lessons worthwhile." That one was definitely sarcastic.

"Well, your dancing was beautiful, too." He replied. She paused and tilted her head, wondering if he actually meant what she thought he did. She didn't have time to ask because Kim appeared with Becca and Mark in tow to hug Payson and get some pictures.

"Max, thank you for joining me." Sasha said, leaning his arms on his desk. Max sat in the seat across from Sasha, feeling very much like he was a kid in a principal's office.

"Have I done something wrong, Sasha?" Although he called his coach by his first name every day, it suddenly seemed disrespectful.

Sasha made a non-committal 'hmmm' sound and leaned back in his chair. "Not yet." He said finally.

"I'm sorry. I'm a little confused." He looked around edgily as his discomfort grew.

"I've noticed you and Payson have developed a certain… rapport."

"Is that a problem? We're not exactly serious, Sasha." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew it was the wrong thing to say. "I mean, we are serious." That, seemingly, was even worse if the look on Sasha's face was anything to go by. "I mean…" Sasha indicated for him to be quiet by raising a finger.

"Max, I'm not sure how well or even if you know Emily Kmetko, but if you even _think_ about jeopardising Payson or anybody else's Olympic dreams, I will not hesitate to destroy your career." Sasha's tone was smooth and low, which was more threatening than straight anger ever could be. "If I find out you are doing anything less innocent than attending her ballet recitals, you will be out of this gym and refused admittance to every other gym in the country. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." Max looked quite pale.

"Good. You may return to training. I would recommend you use the equipment in the annex building today. In fact, I would recommend you use the annex as often as possible."

"Of course, sir. Thank you, sir." With that, Max left the office as soon as possible. Sasha leaned back in his chair, somehow feeling both relieved and more stressed than he had before. Max had just confirmed that he and Payson were dating in some sense of the word, which made an uncomfortable feeling grow in his chest. At the same time, however, he was fairly certain he'd scared the boy into keeping more of a distance. He noted that as Max left the building, Payson tracked his motion across the floor and looked a little miffed that he didn't acknowledge her. Her eyes slid up to the window in his office and her gaze locked with his. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and looked at him like she was figuring out what he did. He looked away, but could feel her eyes track his movement as he walked out of his office.

"I think you need to rein Sasha in."

"Excuse me?" Payson was cooling down on the edge of the floor when Max, having already checked Sasha was nowhere sight, has come up with… that.

"He told me to stay away from you, Payson. It's not normal."

She scoffed. "Max, I'm pretty sure he didn't say _that_."

"Well… not exactly. But that was the sentiment." He refuted. She rolled her eyes.

"You're being paranoid. He probably just doesn't want another Emily situation."

Max shook his head. "No, it's more than that, Payson."

She rolled her eyes again. "And who told you that?" His eyes shifted away.

"No one." Payson narrowed her eyes at him.

"Who was it, Max?" Guiltily, his eyes flicked toward Lauren. Payson pursed her lips. "Of course it was Lauren. Who else would it be?" She stood up and made to leave. He tried to grab her wrist as she passed him.

"Payson, wait. I didn't mean it like that." She pulled her wrist away.

"Don't touch me." She hissed as she walked away. Max stood, unable to process her reaction. Payson disappeared down the hallway that led to the changing rooms. Sasha stood with his legs shoulder-width apart and his arms crossed. At first Max stood tall, too pissed off to just shy away. It might have worked if he hadn't been at least three inches shorter than his coach. And if he was ten years older. And if his coach wasn't Sasha. And if Sasha wasn't his coach. And if Sasha wasn't Sasha. He dropped his head and slunk back to the parallel bars, grinding his teeth. His girlfriend and his coach were both furious with him but, more bizarrely, it was because he questioned their relationship. At first he thought that was understandable, but the more he thought about how they'd reacted, the more he suspected something was up.

Payson spent the rest of the week in a horrible mood. Max figured out pretty quickly that he should stay away. Kaylie and Lauren had also noticed something was up (to be fair, so had most of the gym). Sasha was very aware of it, and found himself being softer and gentler with her than usual. Mark and Kim had decided to let her cool off before trying to find out what had happened, and Becca followed their lead. On Friday, a full four days after the fight, Sasha figured that this distraction had gone on long enough and ambushed Payson in the parking lot when she was returning from lunch. He strode out of the building when he saw Kaylie's car pull up and the three girls jump out. Kaylie and Lauren exchanged glances and scurried past him, but Payson stopped short and waited for him to speak. As he'd often found with her, it's best to be direct.

"I've noticed you've been quite distracted this week."

"I know." She agreed. He could feel her annoyance building again. "I'm over it. It won't happen again." She began to push past him when he stepped back to block her.

"We need to talk about this, Payson."

"Fine. What do you want me to say? Max was being an idiot and I set him straight. That's all."

Sasha sighed. This wasn't going how he'd wanted it to. She was meant to admit to what the problem really was and he was meant to help her get over it. Then they were meant to move on and get back to training. Clearly, he'd have to take a different approach.

"Payson." He said her name in a way that meant 'pay attention'. "You've been distracted all week and it's beginning to affect the rest of the gym. We can talk about this now, or you can continue to be angry and we'll talk about it later."

She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, unconvinced by his argument.

"I'm sorry I've let my personal life affect my training. I'll try harder to keep them separate in future."

Although it wasn't the outcome he'd wanted, she wasn't going to give him anything more. He sighed and stepped aside. She pushed through the doors to the gym, but he didn't follow her. He had to figure out a new approach, and quickly. Not only was her training suffering, but everyone else training in the gym was getting distracted by the constant tension. Although she hadn't done anything dangerous yet, Sasha was all too familiar with what could happen when gymnasts got mad. Boys tended to crank out power move after power move until they either burned out or injured themselves. Sometimes they might just punch someone and get it over with. Unfortunately, working with girls was a whole other matter and there was no telling what might happen.

Unbeknownst to Payson or Sasha, their interaction had been carefully observed by three different parties. The first was Kaylie, who was constantly effected by the moods and actions of her teammates, as well as having a genuine concern for her friend's emotional state. The second was Lauren, who was desperately monitoring the relationships around her and hoping everything would go the way she'd planned. Payson and Sasha growing close again was definitely not something she wanted to happen, and took the conflict as a good sign. She did, however, want Payson and Max to patch it up so Sasha would be completely free. The third party was Kim, who had thought that if anyone could talk Payson down, it would be Sasha. She sighed and turned away from the window, disappointed that no progress had been made. She knew that her daughter was planning to train until after Max left (it was a definite pattern that had emerged over the last week), and hoped that Sasha would try to calm her down again before something bad happened.

"Max, hey."

"Kaylie!" He raised his eyebrows in surprise. Usually he and Kaylie didn't have one-on-one conversations, and she had definitely never sought him out before.

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you about Payson." She said. He groaned.

"Not you, too." She looked confused, so he elaborated. "Lauren's been on me all week to patch it up with her, but I think she needs to cool down first. I just wasn't expecting it to take so long."

"But I didn't see…" Kaylie trailed off and shook her head. "Never mind. Look, I know it's not really any of my business, but Payson's my friend and this isn't healthy for her. Also, as team captain, I thought you should know that this is beginning to affect everyone else's performance, not just hers."

Max wasn't surprised she'd called the 'team captain' card, he'd heard that she had a tendency to do that. He was a little surprised that she was still calling herself team captain. With Payson ranked number 1 at the Rock, everyone had lapsed back into treating her like the leader. Clearly, Kaylie hadn't gotten the memo.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll try to straighten things out with her, just as soon as I think she won't hit me." Kaylie nodded, a little amused but a little irritated that he wouldn't man up and talk to her.

"Just try to get onto it soon. I don't want her to hurt herself again." She walked away to leave Max to his training, but she was still dissatisfied with the result.

As Kim left the gym around 4.30 that afternoon, she exchanged a look with Sasha that said '_something needs to happen_'. He nodded, and sank back into his reverie at his desk. She said good bye to Payson, thankful that her daughter had bought a car for herself with her sponsorship money. Sasha had warned her earlier that Max was planning to stay at the gym until 6, meaning Payson wouldn't leave until at least 7. That gave Sasha two and a half hours to work out and execute his approach. She just hoped that it would work this time. She bade Kaylie and Lauren good bye as they left in their convertibles. She was aware that they had all shifted their timetables to arrive at the gym earlier and be able to leave earlier, as per Sasha's new training regime. The rest of the male gymnasts were leaving, as were the elite girls. Once the last junior class ended at 5.30, that would leave Payson, Max and Sasha alone for half-an-hour, and Sasha and Payson alone for an hour after that. Although Sasha hadn't told her his exact game plan, he had told her vaguely that he had an idea, and if it worked, things should be mostly back to normal very soon.

"Lauren, honey, is that you?" Steve Tanner called through the house when he heard the front door opening.

"Yeah, Dad. Who else would it be?" She replied.

"Can you come into the dining room? We have a visitor who's quite anxious to see you." Lauren rolled her eyes, thinking one of her grandparents had probably come to surprise them. Dealing with old people was exactly what she needed after a day of training. She sighed, dumped her gym bag by the door, and walked slowly to the dining room.

"Oh, my gosh." She stopped, dumbfounded, when she saw their guest. "_Summer_?"

Payson closed her eyes as she worked through Madame Viola's barre exercise sequence. She had been instructed when warming down to not only stretch like a gymnast, but also a dancer. She heard a car outside start up and leave, indicating to her that Max was gone. She'd planned to stay longer, but she'd pushed herself to start power-training again today and she was exhausted. She moved her feet from first to second position and began the exercises again. She felt like she was waiting for something to happen, but didn't realise what it was until Sasha was walking across the floor to her. She realised that she'd known something was going to happen tonight, but she still didn't know exactly what. When he reached her, he stretched out his hand to her and she was suddenly reminded of their night at the ballet. She placed her hand in his and he led her to the centre of the floor. He turned her so that she faced away from him.

"Show me what you're doing in your ballet classes." His voice was low, and a little gravelly, the way it usually was when they were having one of their 'moments'. That was what she classified the pull she felt toward him as. They were simply 'moments'. Their latest 'moment' had happened when she showed him her beam routine. A shiver ran through her as she thought of it.

"Are you cold?" He asked. She stopped moving and turned to look at him. She could tell she didn't need to answer – he already knew. She turned back away from him and continued. When she reached her _battements degages_, she wobbled slightly. He put a hand on her waist to steady her, but didn't remove it. He seemed to know what was next, because when she went into second arabesque, his hand shifted with her back and he took her left hand into his. He turned her slowly in a circle as she held the position.

"Beautiful." Was all he said. She wasn't sure whether to scream at him or run away. She hated how he was making her feel because it meant she wasn't over him at all, and it meant that Max was right, which she hated more than anything.

"Payson." He said her name slowly, ready to give her a speech he'd worked through in his mind earlier.

"I know." She interrupted. "I'm sorry." He didn't need to ask what for. "I'll go home now, and things will be back to normal tomorrow." He nodded, and they said good night. As soon as Payson was out of the door, he exhaled and slumped down slightly. He hated himself for using their relationship against her, for manipulating her. God, he was a bastard, pure and simple. He had to fight the urge to bang his head against something hard all the way home.

Author's Notes: I suppose I kind of owe you guys an explanation for the long delay, but basically what it comes down to is real life. I'm sorry about that. I think I wrote this chapter over about two months, so if it seems discontinuous, that's why. Thanks for sticking with me, and hopefully the next chapter will be up soon.


	9. June, 2011

Author's Notes: So I'm trying a slightly different (perhaps more organised) structure for this chapter that's more character-by-character. I'm hoping that will lead to more balance between storylines. Also, a reminder that I'm using Australian English so sometimes spellings are different, but not wrong. It just occurred to me that I use a lot of words with the letters s or u in this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"So how was training today, Lauren?" Ever since Summer had returned to Boulder, she'd made a point of trying to re-establish her relationship with Lauren. It had been about a month since she'd returned, and Lauren was only just warming up to her again. Their initial meeting at Lauren's house hadn't gone well. Lauren hadn't taken being "left again" very well, and spent a great deal of the time making snide remarks and being unapologetically rude. They'd agreed on weekly meetings at a coffee shop in central Boulder, and would email or text each other intermittently.<p>

Lauren flopped down into her usual seat, seemingly exhausted.

"Sasha's totally ignoring me again." Since her return, Summer had learned not to jump to conclusions at anything Lauren said. More often than not, it seemed that she was externalising blame or reading more into the situation than there was.

"I'm sure he's not doing it on purpose, Lauren. Maybe he's just busy. Nationals are coming up soon, aren't they?"

"Yeah, in like a month. He's spending _all_ of his time with Payson. It's totally obvious that he's just trying to get her alone to- "

"Lauren." Summer cut her off sharply. "You should know more than anyone that there's nothing going on there. Just because I went away doesn't mean I forgot what you did."

Lauren huffed. "If you're going to be like that, I might as well leave."

"Lauren, it's obvious that you haven't accepted responsibility for what you did yet. You betrayed your friend and your coach, and you need to stop blaming other people for your behaviour."

"Well, if he wasn't ignoring the rest of us, I wouldn't have had to."

Summer shook her head and opened her purse. "I'm really disappointed in you, Lauren. " She handed her a business card.

"Whatever." She looked at the card. "What's this?" Lauren asked.

"It's the number of a therapist. I thought I might be able to help you, Lauren, but I think you need more than me."

"I don't need a shrink! I'm not crazy!"

"Lauren, I want to help you. I really do, but I just don't know what else to try. I'm not going to leave Boulder again. I can't run away from my problems, and you need to learn that you can't run away from yours, either."

Lauren just stared at her, so infuriated she didn't even know where to begin. Summer picked up her bag and left. Lauren stayed, staring at the coffee Summer had left behind. She felt so angry, not just at what just happened, but at Sasha, at Payson, at Ellen Beals, at herself, even at Kaylie and Carter, which she hadn't thought about in months. A tiny voice in the back of her head suggested that maybe Summer was right, maybe she did need to talk to someone, but she squashed that thought almost instantly. Without even thinking about it, she grabbed her bag and marched up to the counter.

"Hi, could I get a piece of the double chocolate cheese cake, please?"

* * *

><p>"Haven't you earned a break yet?" Austin asked as his girlfriend jumped off a chair, climbed up and jumped off again.<p>

"Almost." She managed to answer. "Just ten more."

When she finished her last ten reps, Austin was waiting for her with a water bottle and a chicken salad.

"Thanks." She choked out, grabbing the water bottle. "Just give me a minute." She lay down on the floor, totally exhausted.

"Sasha got you doing more conditioning?" He asked.

"No. Well, yes. But this is extra. Gotta get my power up." She sat up, having regained some of her ability to breathe, and started drinking.

"You wanna come eat lunch with me? I got a salad from that place you like." Austin saw a slight hesitation in her eyes.

"Yeah, sure." She said after a second. "Just let me catch my breath." He helped her up and handed her the salad. She looked at the food in her hand for a moment before looking up at her boyfriend and smiling. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>As he watched Payson nail her vault over and over again, Sasha was overtaken by the urge to <em>do<em> something. He didn't really know what. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to say something or actually undertake some action. He didn't know what he wanted to say or what he wanted to do. He just knew he wanted something to happen. She was working with Tara, one of the assistant coaches, so he had no real reason (excuse) to talk to her. He sighed. He felt… pulled to her. As if he was… compelled to be close to her. Perhaps it was the distance she had put between them after their last… interaction. He knew what he'd done wasn't fair. He'd manipulated her emotions (emotions that she shouldn't even have) to stop the drama with Max. Of course he'd done it to help her, but… he couldn't deny that he'd also done it to be close to her. He sighed. Payson was working well without him, so there was no real reason to interrupt her just for a chance to be closer to her. He debated telling Tara to go work with Kaylie on bars, but then he realised that his need to be close to Payson was exactly why he should stay away.

* * *

><p>"So I really need to get some of my power back, you know? I need to make the team again this year to get on the Worlds team and then the Olympic team."<p>

"That's great, Kaylie." Austin knew he had to phrase his next words very carefully. "So what happens if you… don't make it?"

"What do you mean?" Her tone turned icy instantly.

"I mean, it's a possibility everyone has to face. We're gymnasts. You never know if there's a junior gonna come up and surprise you, or injury. There are so many things that could happen that we can't control."

"I know that." She said, irritated. "Look, Austin, if you don't think I can make it, just say so already."

"No, Kaylie, that's not what I meant. I just want to make sure you're prepared in case you don't."

"Well you know what? I already know what my chances are. I already know what can happen, okay? I don't need you hovering over me every second, watching me like a hawk!"

"I care about you, Kaylie. I only want what's best for you." Austin replied.

"You're my boyfriend, not my father, okay? Just… don't."

He held up his hands as if to say 'I surrender'. "Okay. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, Austin. You don't need to treat me like I can't take the truth."

"I won't. Hey, aren't you going to finish your salad?"

"Not right now," She replied, "I only have another twenty minutes for lunch, and I really need to study for my algebra quiz." He looked at her, alarmed. He was trying to trust that she could handle herself, but with her history with food it could be hard at times. She saw the look on his face and rolled her eyes.

"Fine." She said, stabbing the last few pieces of chicken with her fork and stuffing them into her mouth. "Are you happy now?" She garbled through her food.

"Yes, actually, I am." He replied. She rolled her eyes again and slid off the hood of his car. Sometimes he forgot that she was still technically in school. He had 'graduated' over two years ago, and he often forgot the age difference between himself and Kaylie. He was pretty sure that she'd gotten quite a bit of school work out of the way while she was out of training, trying to prove to her parents that she was fine. Come to think of it, she hadn't mentioned much in the way of education in a few months. Then again, neither did Lauren or Payson, although he was fairly certain they were both closer to finishing than Kaylie. He shook his head, remembering the disagreement he'd just had with Kaylie, and decided her schoolwork wasn't something he was meant to worry about.

* * *

><p>"Fancy seeing you here." A feminine voice came from Sasha's left. He turned to find the source. He recognised her, but it took a second to place her.<p>

"Sarah!" He exclaimed, hoping the name was right. He'd met her at this bar once before. How long ago had it been? One month? Two?

"Sasha, right?" She asked. He nodded and she gave an exaggerated sigh of relief. "Glad I got that one right!" He laughed and smiled at her.

"So how's the job going?" He remembered their first meeting had been mostly a discussion about her job and how it wasn't working out. Apparently he asked the right question, because she beamed at him.

"I got an offer from a wedding-planning agency here in Boulder. It's a small business, but people always want to get married so it's pretty stable."

"Congratulations," Sasha replied, sincerely, "When did you start?"

"Last week, and it's already going great! I mean, at first I had to find an apartment and get to know people here. You know how it is."

He made a sound of agreement. He was fairly certain his cross-continental shift trumped her move from Denver to Boulder, but he wasn't about to tell her that. The bartender placed a cocktail in front of Sarah.

"How about you? How's the coaching going?"

"Oh, you know," He began, "it's going. We've got a big meet coming up in a little less than a month. I'm trying to get everyone prepared, but some of them are so distracted…" He trailed off, realising that talking about his job basically meant talking about his gymnasts, which he didn't think Sarah really wanted to hear about.

"Distracted?" She asked.

"Well one girl in particular, Lauren. She's been so angry the last few days, she just snaps at everyone who tries to talk to her."

"Is that bad?"

"It wouldn't be, except it's beginning to throw off her routines."

"So do you just coach girls?" Sarah asked.

"No, no," He reassured her, "Boys as well. Well, they're mostly men, really. They don't usually get distracted like the girls sometimes do."

"Lucky." Sarah said. He was used to women being concerned about his coaching if he mentioned the girls more than the guys. He made a non-committal 'hmmm' sound and turned the conversation back to her. He hadn't really come to the bar to meet people tonight. He'd just felt like a drink and didn't want to be drinking alone in his apartment. As the night (and drinks) went on, he found himself pleasantly buzzed.

"Hey," Sarah said suddenly, "What happened with that girl you mentioned last time?"

He blinked. "What?"

"Uh, with the name… P- something."

"Payson." He said. He sighed and leaned forward on the bar. "Payson is… fine." Technically, it was true. She was fine, on top of all of her routines. As far as he could tell, she'd patched things up with Max, but they certainly seemed less… chummy than they had before. And, of course, his undeniable need to get her to let him be close to her again.

"That's good. You know," She giggled, "I had a roommate in college who was _really_ into gymnastics and after we met I thought I recognised your name so I asked her and," She made a sound between a laugh and a snort, "you were _big_ in Sydney!"

"Thank you." He replied sincerely. It wasn't often that a member of the general public recognised him anymore. After all, it had been eleven years since he'd been in his last Olympics, and even then he hadn't been on the American team. He realised Sarah was still talking and tried to zone back in.

"… so I asked her and she was _so _into you." Sarah had an empty martini glass in her hand and waved it around slightly as she was speaking. He realised that she'd definitely had more to drink than he had. He also realised that opening the gym at 5 for Payson was less than 8 hours away. It was definitely time to pay his tab and go.

"Hey," Sarah pressed something into his hand just before he got up to leave, "call me some time." He nodded, although he had no real intention of doing so.

"I'll see you around." She called after him. He looked back and smiled, noticing a familiar sparkle in her ambiguously blue-green eyes.

As he walked back to his apartment, he considered Sarah's advances. She was physically appealing, and he enjoyed their conversation. She didn't seem to have a problem with his working with girls. She seemed more extroverted than he was, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Going out with her could add a touch of normalcy to his life that was often missing. Gymnastics wouldn't be his entire life. She was age-appropriate, which he saw as a positive until he realised it shouldn't even be an issue. He could see the benefits to going out with Sarah. At the end of the day, though, she wasn't Payson. He realised that that was the exact reason why he should call her tomorrow and ask her out.

* * *

><p>"So Payson, we're one year out from the Olympics, very exciting. How are you feeling?" Payson turned on her best mega-watt, media-darling smile.<p>

"I'm very excited, Karen. Obviously training has really stepped up, but I'm also really looking forward to seeing the new Healthy Bar campaign launch this September."

"Busy schedule, huh? I can't say I'm jealous."

Payson forced a somewhat-convincing laugh and kept a smile plastered on her face.

"Can I just say, I can't believe I'm here at the home of the Rock Rebels! You guys are legendary."

"Oh, that's very kind of you," Payson began, "but the Rebels were really Lauren Tanner, Kaylie Cruz and Emily Kmetko. I was in full-on training mode trying to come back from my surgery."

Karen, the bubbly "journalist" doing the interview, had to pause for a second to think of a segue into her next question.

"And what a hard time that must have been." Karen managed to dial down her enthusiasm for a sombre moment. "From what I've heard, it seems like you're back on top now, though."

"Well, at Worlds I couldn't compete in the all-around due to my ankle injury but it was an honour to be part of the team." Payson could see her media representative, Jarred Schwarz, smiling behind Karen. He'd drilled her about how to answer the questions so she would seem well-spoken and professional. She just tried to remember the kinds of things Kaylie used to say and it seemed to go fairly well. Her cheeks were beginning to ache from the fake smile, and Karen's demeanour was starting to irk her. The two tech staff taking photos and video footage in the background weren't helping.

"All healed up now, right?"

"That's right!"

"Now, just between you and me," Karen leaned forward and winked at the camera, "are there any surprises we might be seeing from you in the next year? I heard a little rumour that there may be a new beam routine in the making?"

"Well," Payson pretended to go with the 'it's a secret' act, "there is a little something I'll be trying at Nationals."

"Any hints about what it might be?"

"All I can say is that I think you'll be very surprised."

Karen made an 'ooh' sound and carried on the interview to ask about Nationals, her sponsorship deals, and her training. Payson couldn't really remember what her answers were. They were all pretty generic, answering the questions without going into much detail.

"Okay, just one more question to go!" Karen announced. Payson's fake smile became a little more real. "I know gymnasts aren't usually allowed to have boyfriends, but is there anyone special in your life?"

"Well, Karen, just between us girls, I have been seeing someone."

"Any hints about who?"

"We train together, but we're waiting until after the Olympics are over to see how things turn out. Having no distractions between now and the Olympics is really important for my chances of making the team."

"Very true," Karen replied, "well Payson, it was a pleasure talking to you. We'll be having another chat after Nationals and then every two months after that."

Payson looked at Jarred for confirmation. He nodded.

"Alright, let's just wrap this up and then we'll get out of your hair."

As Karen and her "team" packed up their gear, Payson let her bubbly demeanour drop.

"Don't worry," Jarred reminded her, "only 7 more of these." The look on her face made it clear that this was no consolation at all.

"Or you could, you know, think of the money." He said. Payson nodded, finding the financial incentive much more agreeable. Afterall, $10000 for eight, ten-minute interviews was just about the easiest money anyone could make. Plus, as Jarred had reassured her, there was no exclusivity contract and the extra exposure the interviews would give her could lead to more endorsements. Although her _Healthy Bar_ deal was going well, it hadn't ballooned her into some kind of celebrity overnight. Her best bet was still to become the 2011 National Champion and ride the hype of the Olympic year.

* * *

><p>Steve Tanner was not a happy man. Summer had called him that afternoon to tell him about her last meeting with Lauren. Although he hadn't always set the best examples for his daughter, he still had enough sense to know that approaching the subject of therapy so directly was a bad move. It was a possibility that he'd wanted to broach with her eventually. In retrospect, it was something he should have talked to her about a long time ago. Perhaps tomorrow, after she'd finished eating everything with sugar in the house, she would be calm enough to talk about it rationally with him. Maybe.<p>

* * *

><p>It was only 7 that night when Sasha started shutting the lights off. Payson frowned. Sasha didn't usually start closing the gym for at least another hour. He came out of the office and jogged down the stairs.<p>

"Sasha, what's going on?"

"I… have plans for tonight." He admitted to her slowly. "I have to leave in half an hour."

"Oh," She said, "what are you doing?"

Sasha sighed. She was going to make him say it.

"Payson, I have a date." His tone was shorter than he'd meant it to be. She jerked back a little, looking surprised and a little affronted.

"Oh," She said again, "I guess I should… get out of your hair, then." She turned on the spot and marched across the floor to the locker room. When he was sure she was out of earshot, he let out a sound almost like a growl. He could see how upset she was, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. He'd hurt her, again, and there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't feel attracted to Payson anymore. It wasn't allowed. His frustration grew as he marched back up to his office to finish closing up. Suddenly, he heard a very quiet gasp. It was Payson, standing in the middle of the floor, watching him through the window. One of her arms was curled around her stomach, the other hand was pressed against her mouth, as if to stifle any noise. She was staring up at him with an almost-blank expression, except for her slightly raised eyebrows and flushed skin. The corners of her lips were tight and sloped down, and her chin was very slightly crinkled. She'd thrown on her clothes haphazardly, and her gym bag looked like it had been packed very hurriedly. He couldn't read her eyes across the distance. Very slowly, as if it physically pained him, he lifted his arm to wave to her. He knew she would take it as a signal to leave. He knew if he pushed her away, she would go. It wasn't something he _wanted_ to do. He wanted to go down there and smooth her forehead, make her smile, keep her safe forever. And that was exactly why he had to do it. She moved her wrist in a small, reciprocal gesture before turning and leaving. He sighed as he was left alone. It was for the best. It really was. So why did it feel so wrong?

* * *

><p>Payson sat in her car, heart racing. An ache had settled in somewhere behind her stomach and in her throat. A heavy, uncomfortable feeling encompassed her. Damn Sasha! The second he'd said the word 'date', her stomach had dropped and her heart had flipped, and this unbearable ache had settled into her throat. Why would he do that? When he knew – he <em>knew<em> – exactly how she felt about him! And he touched her as if to caress her, and danced with her, and came to her freaking dance recitals, and stared at her with dark eyes, as if he would take her at any moment! She gripped the steering wheel so hard that her knuckles turned white and her hands strained with the effort. She'd never been able to hate him, but this was the closest she'd come so far. She tried to yell or scream or curse him, but the ache in her throat stopped the sound. She leaned forward, resting her head on the steering wheel. She wanted to cry, but no tears would come. There was no relief, only this pain. Suddenly, she gasped in breath and dry-sobbed. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there when she finally drove home, but she noticed Sasha's car was gone and the gym was totally dark. When she got home, she found a note on the kitchen table telling her that Kim and Becca had gone out for frozen yoghurt to celebrate her sister getting an A in algebra. Payon bypassed dinner, unable to eat after the night's revelations. She changed quickly and crawled into bed, wishing she could forget that Sasha was probably on his date right now. She lay there in the darkness until the first tear came, followed by a torrent more. When the sun started to come up, she didn't move. She wasn't quite sure if she'd slept or not. After a while, she got out of bed and stumbled over to her desk. She wrote a note for her mother, saying that she felt unwell, wouldn't be going to the Rock today, and needed more sleep. She slipped it under her door into the hallway and collapsed back into her cocoon. She would just take today, she told herself. To calm herself and nurse her wounds, and tomorrow she would go back as if nothing had happened. As if Sasha was just another coach and she was just another gymnast. As if there was nothing special about their relationship. As if they were… normal.

* * *

><p>AN: Woah, angst! Not to worry, our favourite couple shall prevail in the end! I'm sorry it took so long to update, but, you know, life happens. Still, after this chapter I'm hoping to get back into it and get more writing done!


	10. July, 2011

Author's notes: I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long! I wonder if anyone is still reading this? Anyhow, holidays begin soon so hopefully I'll be updating again much more regularly.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, America. Here we are in St. Paul, Minnesota, awaiting the first day of the 2011 National Gymnastics Championship. I'm Tim Daggett, joined by Elfi Schlegel and Al Trautwig."<p>

"And may I say, it is a beautiful morning to kick off the first day of competition. Over the next three days, we will see America's finest men and women compete for the honour of joining the national champion."

"That's right, Elfi. Only members of the national team may compete in the World Championships later in the year. Heading into an Olympic year next year, you can only imagine the pressure these athletes must be feeling."

"Absolutely, Al. We're in for a more interesting year than most for the women, with current champ Kaylie Cruz still on her come-back, and Payson Keeler ready to show the world what she's got."

"These two girls train along with Lauren Tanner at the famous 'Rock' club in Boulder, Colorado, so it will be interesting to see how they handle working both as individuals and as a team."

"And let's not forget Kelly Parker, who trained with them for several months before last year's World Championships."

"But, as with any competition, we shouldn't count out any of the competitors here today. After all, Kaylie Cruz wasn't even on the radar for the National win before Payson Keeler's injury."

"Tim, we're just about to see the first rotation of men enter the arena. And here comes current champion Austin Tucker, led by coach Sasha Belov."

* * *

><p>Sasha strolled across the lobby of the hotel, happy with the first rotation of the men's competition. So far, Austin was dominating and Max was in sixth overall. His other Rock men were all in the top twenty and they had a smattering of finalists for the individual events. All of his gymnasts had the rest of the day off, while the rest of the men's qualifying rounds took place. The women's competition would commence on the second day, and finals for both genders would be on the third day.<p>

Payson's old gym had allowed the Rock girls to train with them for the day, so he only had the men to chaperone, all of whom were eighteen or older, and were happy to stay in the hotel anyway. He was waiting at the elevator when the sound of a woman's voice reverberated through the lobby.

"Surprise!" Sasha whipped around to find the source of the sound, when his eyes landed on Sarah… who was meant to be in Boulder, attending one of the weddings she had planned.

"Sarah, what are you doing here?"

"Aren't you pleased to see me?" She pouted playfully as she kissed his cheek.

"Of course. I'm just a little surprised." Sasha replied. He and Sarah had been going out casually for a month, although their dates, at least on his part, were lacking a certain something.

"I know I should have called first, but I wanted to see your face. You aren't busy, are you?" She seemed to pick up on his lack of enthusiasm, and her smile faded a little.

"Oh, not busy, no. Come on, I'll show you around."

* * *

><p>Payson stood in the middle of her old gym, about to start her floor routine. It was odd, being in a place that used to feel like home. The Rock used to feel like home, too, but lately… lately had been different. She'd suddenly understood how Lauren must have felt watching Carter and Kaylie. All of the movies and songs about heartbreak or jealousy she'd always thought of as stupid suddenly weren't so stupid anymore. She curled down into her starting position and the music began. But the music didn't lift her up like it used to. It didn't flow through her and make her limbs move of their own accord. She went through the motions as technique, breaking down each step into tiny movements to execute. The music swelled, and she prepared to take her first tumbling pass. She inhaled and focused on the end of the mat. She rocked back and forward and went to take a step, when she just didn't. There was a disconnect between her brain and her muscles. The music continued, but Payson didn't. She just stood there, staring at the end of the mat. In her mind, this was the part of the story where Romeo and Juliet were getting together. She was meant to be a bird, soaring through the sky. To say that she hadn't been feeling it was an understatement. She didn't even feel pain anymore. It was just numbness.<p>

Her head jerked up as the doors opened. It was just Kim, come to round up the girls and take them back to the Hotel. Payson had hoped… well, she had hoped it would be someone else. But these days, it seemed, it was foolish to hope.

* * *

><p>All of the gymnasts were dining together at the hotel's restaurant when their coach walked in, with a pretty blonde on his arm. As some of the male gymnasts cat-called them good-naturedly, Payson's eyes locked onto the woman with Sasha. Before now, she had only heard very briefly about the woman. This was her first glance. She was fairly attractive, slightly mid-western looking, with blonde hair and light eyes. She was too far away to see the exact colour. She wasn't overly tall, but compared to an elite female gymnast she was. Kaylie nudged Payson.<p>

"Hey, doesn't she remind you of someone?" Kaylie asked.

"No." Payson hissed back.

"Oh, come on." Lauren interjected. "She totally looks like you. But, you know, older."

"Actually, I was thinking of Summer." Kaylie corrected.

"I guess he just likes blondes." Lauren shrugged as she took a bite of cheesecake.

"I can't believe you're eating that, Lo." Kaylie said. Lauren rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. It's just one piece."

"Yeah, and yesterday it was just one milkshake, and the day before it was just one candy bar."

Lauren just rolled her eyes again and kept eating.

"Pay, are you okay?" Kaylie asked. Payson's eyes hadn't left the couple as Sasha pulled the chair out for his date.

"Yeah. I'm going to bed. Gotta rest up for tomorrow." She stood up abruptly, and her chair made a loud scraping sound. Sasha's head twisted over to see what it was. He saw Payson stalk across the room with a hardened expression on her face. Sarah noticed his gaze as it lingered on the younger girl.

"Oh, is that one of your gymnasts?" Sarah asked.

"Yes. I need to check on her." With that, he left Sarah alone, and his gymnasts looked on, stunned.

Sasha caught up to Payson as she was waiting for the elevator. She stared at the door and jabbed the up button, pointedly ignoring him.

"Payson." He said, trying to get her attention.

"No. Don't you _dare_. You can't treat me the way you do and then bring your _girlfriend_ and shove her in my face!"

"I know," He began, "I've treated you unfairly. I'm your coach, I never should have –"

"What?" She cut him off. "You never should have what? Touched me the way you do? Told me I was beautiful? You haven't _done_ anything, Sasha."

"Payson, I – "

"No." She cut him off again. "Don't. Just don't."

The elevator doors opened, and Payson went back to pointedly ignoring him as she walked in. He followed her in, determined not to let her just walk away. Payson jabbed the button for their floor and the doors closed.

"Payson, can't you see why I'm dating Sarah? I have to."

"You _have_ to?" She repeated derisively.

"_Yes_," He hissed, "because otherwise-" He cut himself off, unable to vocalise the thought.

"Otherwise what?" Payson turned to look him in the eye. "What, Sasha?"

"Otherwise I might," He sighed, "I might…" He slumped back against the wall, defeated. The doors opened, but neither of them moved. He needed her to understand, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. He took her hands in his and squeezed them gently. He pulled on her arms a little until she shuffled forward.

"Sasha…" Payson whispered.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I have to try with someone else, or I might give myself over to you."

Payson's breath caught in her throat. She felt so relieved, vindicated even, that she wasn't in it alone. The elevator doors closed, but it didn't start moving again. Sasha lowered his forehead to rest it against hers. He slid his hands up to caress her cheeks.

"You are so beautiful, Payson Keeler," He whispered, "so beautiful. I can't stand having you angry with me. I need you to trust me again. I just… need you."

Payson tilted her face upward, until their lips were almost touching.

"You're seventeen," He whispered, "I'm your coach."

"Don't pull away now, Sasha. Don't you dare." She demanded.

"Don't you see? You're right there, all the time, and it's so hard not to be around you sometimes." He grabbed her chin with one hand and pressed his lips briefly against hers. It wasn't really a kiss so much as him proving his point.

"I'm so close sometimes. I'm on the brink. I have to pull away so I don't ruin your career."

"Sasha." All she had to say was his name, and he could hear everything she really wanted to tell him.

"I don't know what this is, Payson. I don't know if we're meant to be together, one day, when I'm not your coach. I don't know if I'm in love with you or I'm just a perverted old man lusting after his gymnast. It doesn't really matter because right now you have a dream, and I'm doing my best to get you there. And that's why we have to push this aside, for now. When you go back to your room, you have to forget this. Focus on tomorrow. Focus until London in 2012. I'm going to go back downstairs and have dinner with my date. I'm going to keep seeing her so I don't ruin you."

"Sasha, it hurts." She whispered. "I thought for so long I was in this alone. It's not fair."

"I know," He tried to soothe her, "but we have to have an understanding between us, right now, of what we're going to do. I'm going to be your coach, and I have to try to be like any other adult. I'm going to go on dates with women my own age. You're a great gymnast, Payson. You're going to make it, and I'm going to help you. And, if it makes you feel better, you should know that you're the only one in my heart."

Her breath caught a little in her throat. She pushed herself up on her toes and pushed her lips against his. The kiss was less about physical feelings as it was about emotional expression. Sasha's lips moved slowly against hers, and his tongue swept leisurely across her own. It made her feel like she was glowing. His hands caressed her cheeks and neck. They broke apart when the elevator lurched downwards as someone called it from the lobby. With a last squeeze of her hand, Sasha relinquished all physical contact with her. An understanding had come to pass between them, and there was nothing more to be said.

When they reached the lobby, only Sasha stepped out. Payson went back up to her room, and he went to have dinner with Sarah. Payson realised that perhaps she should feel crushed that he hadn't swept her up and outright confessed his love for her, but she was too realistic to believe it would actually happen. After so many months of her feelings being unreciprocated, she finally had closure. It wouldn't stop her having feelings for Sasha, far from it. But it would let her focus again and ignore whatever blonde bimbo he was dating. After all, she remembered with a grin, _she was the only one in his heart_.


End file.
